THE MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR by William Shakespeare c. 1597 Act I

SCENE I. Windsor. Before PAGE's house.     Enter SHALLOW, SLENDER, and SIR HUGH EVANS SHALLOW     Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Star-     chamber matter of it: if he were twenty Sir John     Falstaffs, he shall not abuse Robert Shallow, esquire. SLENDER     In the county of Gloucester, justice of peace and     'Coram.' SHALLOW     Ay, cousin Slender, and 'Custalourum. SLENDER     Ay, and 'Rato-lorum' too; and a gentleman born,     master parson; who writes himself 'Armigero,' in any     bill, warrant, quittance, or obligation, 'Armigero.' SHALLOW     Ay, that I do; and have done any time these three     hundred years. SLENDER     All his successors gone before him hath done't; and     all his ancestors that come after him may: they may     give the dozen white luces in their coat. SHALLOW     It is an old coat. SIR HUGH EVANS     The dozen white louses do become an old coat well;     it agrees well, passant; it is a familiar beast to     man, and signifies love. SHALLOW     The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an old coat. SLENDER     I may quarter, coz. SHALLOW     You may, by marrying. SIR HUGH EVANS     It is marring indeed, if he quarter it. SHALLOW     Not a whit. SIR HUGH EVANS     Yes, py'r lady; if he has a quarter of your coat,     there is but three skirts for yourself, in my     simple conjectures: but that is all one. If Sir     John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto     you, I am of the church, and will be glad to do my     benevolence to make atonements and compremises     between you. SHALLOW     The council shall bear it; it is a riot. SIR HUGH EVANS     It is not meet the council hear a riot; there is no     fear of Got in a riot: the council, look you, shall     desire to hear the fear of Got, and not to hear a     riot; take your vizaments in that. SHALLOW     Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the sword     should end it. SIR HUGH EVANS     It is petter that friends is the sword, and end it:     and there is also another device in my prain, which     peradventure prings goot discretions with it: there     is Anne Page, which is daughter to Master Thomas     Page, which is pretty virginity. SLENDER     Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks     small like a woman. SIR HUGH EVANS     It is that fery person for all the orld, as just as     you will desire; and seven hundred pounds of moneys,     and gold and silver, is her grandsire upon his     death's-bed--Got deliver to a joyful resurrections!     --give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years     old: it were a goot motion if we leave our pribbles     and prabbles, and desire a marriage between Master     Abraham and Mistress Anne Page. SLENDER     Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound? SIR HUGH EVANS     Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny. SLENDER     I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts. SIR HUGH EVANS     Seven hundred pounds and possibilities is goot gifts. SHALLOW     Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff there? SIR HUGH EVANS     Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I do     despise one that is false, or as I despise one that     is not true. The knight, Sir John, is there; and, I     beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. I will     peat the door for Master Page.     Knocks     What, hoa! Got pless your house here! PAGE     [Within] Who's there?     Enter PAGE SIR HUGH EVANS     Here is Got's plessing, and your friend, and Justice     Shallow; and here young Master Slender, that     peradventures shall tell you another tale, if     matters grow to your likings. PAGE     I am glad to see your worships well.     I thank you for my venison, Master Shallow. SHALLOW     Master Page, I am glad to see you: much good do it     your good heart! I wished your venison better; it     was ill killed. How doth good Mistress Page?--and I     thank you always with my heart, la! with my heart. PAGE     Sir, I thank you. SHALLOW     Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do. PAGE     I am glad to see you, good Master Slender. SLENDER     How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I heard say he     was outrun on Cotsall. PAGE     It could not be judged, sir. SLENDER     You'll not confess, you'll not confess. SHALLOW     That he will not. 'Tis your fault, 'tis your fault;     'tis a good dog. PAGE     A cur, sir. SHALLOW     Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog: can there be     more said? he is good and fair. Is Sir John     Falstaff here? PAGE     Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good     office between you. SIR HUGH EVANS     It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak. SHALLOW     He hath wronged me, Master Page. PAGE     Sir, he doth in some sort confess it. SHALLOW     If it be confessed, it is not redress'd: is not that     so, Master Page? He hath wronged me; indeed he     hath, at a word, he hath, believe me: Robert     Shallow, esquire, saith, he is wronged. PAGE     Here comes Sir John.     Enter FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, NYM, and PISTOL FALSTAFF     Now, Master Shallow, you'll complain of me to the king? SHALLOW     Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and     broke open my lodge. FALSTAFF     But not kissed your keeper's daughter? SHALLOW     Tut, a pin! this shall be answered. FALSTAFF     I will answer it straight; I have done all this.     That is now answered. SHALLOW     The council shall know this. FALSTAFF     'Twere better for you if it were known in counsel:     you'll be laughed at. SIR HUGH EVANS     Pauca verba, Sir John; goot worts. FALSTAFF     Good worts! good cabbage. Slender, I broke your     head: what matter have you against me? SLENDER     Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you;     and against your cony-catching rascals, Bardolph,     Nym, and Pistol. BARDOLPH     You Banbury cheese! SLENDER     Ay, it is no matter. PISTOL     How now, Mephostophilus! SLENDER     Ay, it is no matter. NYM     Slice, I say! pauca, pauca: slice! that's my humour. SLENDER     Where's Simple, my man? Can you tell, cousin? SIR HUGH EVANS     Peace, I pray you. Now let us understand. There is     three umpires in this matter, as I understand; that     is, Master Page, fidelicet Master Page; and there is     myself, fidelicet myself; and the three party is,     lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter. PAGE     We three, to hear it and end it between them. SIR HUGH EVANS     Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in my note-     book; and we will afterwards ork upon the cause with     as great discreetly as we can. FALSTAFF     Pistol! PISTOL     He hears with ears. SIR HUGH EVANS     The tevil and his tam! what phrase is this, 'He     hears with ear'? why, it is affectations. FALSTAFF     Pistol, did you pick Master Slender's purse? SLENDER     Ay, by these gloves, did he, or I would I might     never come in mine own great chamber again else, of     seven groats in mill-sixpences, and two Edward     shovel-boards, that cost me two shilling and two     pence apiece of Yead Miller, by these gloves. FALSTAFF     Is this true, Pistol? SIR HUGH EVANS     No; it is false, if it is a pick-purse. PISTOL     Ha, thou mountain-foreigner! Sir John and Master mine,     I combat challenge of this latten bilbo.     Word of denial in thy labras here!     Word of denial: froth and scum, thou liest! SLENDER     By these gloves, then, 'twas he. NYM     Be avised, sir, and pass good humours: I will say     'marry trap' with you, if you run the nuthook's     humour on me; that is the very note of it. SLENDER     By this hat, then, he in the red face had it; for     though I cannot remember what I did when you made me     drunk, yet I am not altogether an ass. FALSTAFF     What say you, Scarlet and John? BARDOLPH     Why, sir, for my part I say the gentleman had drunk     himself out of his five sentences. SIR HUGH EVANS     It is his five senses: fie, what the ignorance is! BARDOLPH     And being fap, sir, was, as they say, cashiered; and     so conclusions passed the careires. SLENDER     Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 'tis no     matter: I'll ne'er be drunk whilst I live again,     but in honest, civil, godly company, for this trick:     if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have     the fear of God, and not with drunken knaves. SIR HUGH EVANS     So Got udge me, that is a virtuous mind. FALSTAFF     You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; you hear it.     Enter ANNE PAGE, with wine; MISTRESS FORD and MISTRESS PAGE, following PAGE     Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we'll drink within.     Exit ANNE PAGE SLENDER     O heaven! this is Mistress Anne Page. PAGE     How now, Mistress Ford! FALSTAFF     Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met:     by your leave, good mistress.     Kisses her PAGE     Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome. Come, we have a     hot venison pasty to dinner: come, gentlemen, I hope     we shall drink down all unkindness.     Exeunt all except SHALLOW, SLENDER, and SIR HUGH EVANS SLENDER     I had rather than forty shillings I had my Book of     Songs and Sonnets here.     Enter SIMPLE     How now, Simple! where have you been? I must wait     on myself, must I? You have not the Book of Riddles     about you, have you? SIMPLE     Book of Riddles! why, did you not lend it to Alice     Shortcake upon All-hallowmas last, a fortnight     afore Michaelmas? SHALLOW     Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A word with     you, coz; marry, this, coz: there is, as 'twere, a     tender, a kind of tender, made afar off by Sir Hugh     here. Do you understand me? SLENDER     Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable; if it be so,     I shall do that that is reason. SHALLOW     Nay, but understand me. SLENDER     So I do, sir. SIR HUGH EVANS     Give ear to his motions, Master Slender: I will     description the matter to you, if you be capacity of it. SLENDER     Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says: I pray     you, pardon me; he's a justice of peace in his     country, simple though I stand here. SIR HUGH EVANS     But that is not the question: the question is     concerning your marriage. SHALLOW     Ay, there's the point, sir. SIR HUGH EVANS     Marry, is it; the very point of it; to Mistress Anne Page. SLENDER     Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any     reasonable demands. SIR HUGH EVANS     But can you affection the 'oman? Let us command to     know that of your mouth or of your lips; for divers     philosophers hold that the lips is parcel of the     mouth. Therefore, precisely, can you carry your     good will to the maid? SHALLOW     Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her? SLENDER     I hope, sir, I will do as it shall become one that     would do reason. SIR HUGH EVANS     Nay, Got's lords and his ladies! you must speak     possitable, if you can carry her your desires     towards her. SHALLOW     That you must. Will you, upon good dowry, marry her? SLENDER     I will do a greater thing than that, upon your     request, cousin, in any reason. SHALLOW     Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz: what I do     is to pleasure you, coz. Can you love the maid? SLENDER     I will marry her, sir, at your request: but if there     be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven may     decrease it upon better acquaintance, when we are     married and have more occasion to know one another;     I hope, upon familiarity will grow more contempt:     but if you say, 'Marry her,' I will marry her; that     I am freely dissolved, and dissolutely. SIR HUGH EVANS     It is a fery discretion answer; save the fall is in     the ort 'dissolutely:' the ort is, according to our     meaning, 'resolutely:' his meaning is good. SHALLOW     Ay, I think my cousin meant well. SLENDER     Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la! SHALLOW     Here comes fair Mistress Anne.     Re-enter ANNE PAGE     Would I were young for your sake, Mistress Anne! ANNE PAGE     The dinner is on the table; my father desires your     worships' company. SHALLOW     I will wait on him, fair Mistress Anne. SIR HUGH EVANS     Od's plessed will! I will not be absence at the grace.     Exeunt SHALLOW and SIR HUGH EVANS ANNE PAGE     Will't please your worship to come in, sir? SLENDER     No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very well. ANNE PAGE     The dinner attends you, sir. SLENDER     I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth. Go,     sirrah, for all you are my man, go wait upon my     cousin Shallow.     Exit SIMPLE     A justice of peace sometimes may be beholding to his     friend for a man. I keep but three men and a boy     yet, till my mother be dead: but what though? Yet I     live like a poor gentleman born. ANNE PAGE     I may not go in without your worship: they will not     sit till you come. SLENDER     I' faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as     though I did. ANNE PAGE     I pray you, sir, walk in. SLENDER     I had rather walk here, I thank you. I bruised     my shin th' other day with playing at sword and     dagger with a master of fence; three veneys for a     dish of stewed prunes; and, by my troth, I cannot     abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your     dogs bark so? be there bears i' the town? ANNE PAGE     I think there are, sir; I heard them talked of. SLENDER     I love the sport well but I shall as soon quarrel at     it as any man in England. You are afraid, if you see     the bear loose, are you not? ANNE PAGE     Ay, indeed, sir. SLENDER     That's meat and drink to me, now. I have seen     Sackerson loose twenty times, and have taken him by     the chain; but, I warrant you, the women have so     cried and shrieked at it, that it passed: but women,     indeed, cannot abide 'em; they are very ill-favored     rough things.     Re-enter PAGE PAGE     Come, gentle Master Slender, come; we stay for you. SLENDER     I'll eat nothing, I thank you, sir. PAGE     By cock and pie, you shall not choose, sir! come, come. SLENDER     Nay, pray you, lead the way. PAGE     Come on, sir. SLENDER     Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first. ANNE PAGE     Not I, sir; pray you, keep on. SLENDER     I'll rather be unmannerly than troublesome.     You do yourself wrong, indeed, la!     Exeunt  SCENE II. The same.     Enter SIR HUGH EVANS and SIMPLE SIR HUGH EVANS     Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius' house which     is the way: and there dwells one Mistress Quickly,     which is in the manner of his nurse, or his dry     nurse, or his cook, or his laundry, his washer, and     his wringer. SIMPLE     Well, sir. SIR HUGH EVANS     Nay, it is petter yet. Give her this letter; for it     is a 'oman that altogether's acquaintance with     Mistress Anne Page: and the letter is, to desire     and require her to solicit your master's desires to     Mistress Anne Page. I pray you, be gone: I will     make an end of my dinner; there's pippins and cheese to come.     Exeunt SCENE III. A room in the Garter Inn.     Enter FALSTAFF, Host, BARDOLPH, NYM, PISTOL, and ROBIN FALSTAFF     Mine host of the Garter! Host     What says my bully-rook? speak scholarly and wisely. FALSTAFF     Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my     followers. Host     Discard, bully Hercules; cashier: let them wag; trot, trot. FALSTAFF     I sit at ten pounds a week. Host     Thou'rt an emperor, Caesar, Keisar, and Pheezar. I     will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall     tap: said I well, bully Hector? FALSTAFF     Do so, good mine host. Host     I have spoke; let him follow.     To BARDOLPH     Let me see thee froth and lime: I am at a word; follow.     Exit FALSTAFF     Bardolph, follow him. A tapster is a good trade:     an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a withered     serving-man a fresh tapster. Go; adieu. BARDOLPH     It is a life that I have desired: I will thrive. PISTOL     O base Hungarian wight! wilt thou the spigot wield?     Exit BARDOLPH NYM     He was gotten in drink: is not the humour conceited? FALSTAFF     I am glad I am so acquit of this tinderbox: his     thefts were too open; his filching was like an     unskilful singer; he kept not time. NYM     The good humour is to steal at a minute's rest. PISTOL     'Convey,' the wise it call. 'Steal!' foh! a fico     for the phrase! FALSTAFF     Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels. PISTOL     Why, then, let kibes ensue. FALSTAFF     There is no remedy; I must cony-catch; I must shift. PISTOL     Young ravens must have food. FALSTAFF     Which of you know Ford of this town? PISTOL     I ken the wight: he is of substance good. FALSTAFF     My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about. PISTOL     Two yards, and more. FALSTAFF     No quips now, Pistol! Indeed, I am in the waist two     yards about; but I am now about no waste; I am about     thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's     wife: I spy entertainment in her; she discourses,     she carves, she gives the leer of invitation: I     can construe the action of her familiar style; and     the hardest voice of her behavior, to be Englished     rightly, is, 'I am Sir John Falstaff's.' PISTOL     He hath studied her will, and translated her will,     out of honesty into English. NYM     The anchor is deep: will that humour pass? FALSTAFF     Now, the report goes she has all the rule of her     husband's purse: he hath a legion of angels. PISTOL     As many devils entertain; and 'To her, boy,' say I. NYM     The humour rises; it is good: humour me the angels. FALSTAFF     I have writ me here a letter to her: and here     another to Page's wife, who even now gave me good     eyes too, examined my parts with most judicious     oeillades; sometimes the beam of her view gilded my     foot, sometimes my portly belly. PISTOL     Then did the sun on dunghill shine. NYM     I thank thee for that humour. FALSTAFF     O, she did so course o'er my exteriors with such a     greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye did     seem to scorch me up like a burning-glass! Here's     another letter to her: she bears the purse too; she     is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. I will     be cheater to them both, and they shall be     exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West     Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go bear thou     this letter to Mistress Page; and thou this to     Mistress Ford: we will thrive, lads, we will thrive. PISTOL     Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become,     And by my side wear steel? then, Lucifer take all! NYM     I will run no base humour: here, take the     humour-letter: I will keep the havior of reputation. FALSTAFF     [To ROBIN] Hold, sirrah, bear you these letters tightly;     Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.     Rogues, hence, avaunt! vanish like hailstones, go;     Trudge, plod away o' the hoof; seek shelter, pack!     Falstaff will learn the humour of the age,     French thrift, you rogues; myself and skirted page.     Exeunt FALSTAFF and ROBIN PISTOL     Let vultures gripe thy guts! for gourd and fullam holds,     And high and low beguiles the rich and poor:     Tester I'll have in pouch when thou shalt lack,     Base Phrygian Turk! NYM     I have operations which be humours of revenge. PISTOL     Wilt thou revenge? NYM     By welkin and her star! PISTOL     With wit or steel? NYM     With both the humours, I:     I will discuss the humour of this love to Page. PISTOL     And I to Ford shall eke unfold     How Falstaff, varlet vile,     His dove will prove, his gold will hold,     And his soft couch defile. NYM     My humour shall not cool: I will incense Page to     deal with poison; I will possess him with     yellowness, for the revolt of mine is dangerous:     that is my true humour. PISTOL     Thou art the Mars of malecontents: I second thee; troop on.     Exeunt  SCENE IV. A room in DOCTOR CAIUS' house.     Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY, SIMPLE, and RUGBY MISTRESS QUICKLY     What, John Rugby! I pray thee, go to the casement,     and see if you can see my master, Master Doctor     Caius, coming. If he do, i' faith, and find any     body in the house, here will be an old abusing of     God's patience and the king's English. RUGBY     I'll go watch. MISTRESS QUICKLY     Go; and we'll have a posset for't soon at night, in     faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire.     Exit RUGBY     An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant     shall come in house withal, and, I warrant you, no     tell-tale nor no breed-bate: his worst fault is,     that he is given to prayer; he is something peevish     that way: but nobody but has his fault; but let     that pass. Peter Simple, you say your name is? SIMPLE     Ay, for fault of a better. MISTRESS QUICKLY     And Master Slender's your master? SIMPLE     Ay, forsooth. MISTRESS QUICKLY     Does he not wear a great round beard, like a     glover's paring-knife? SIMPLE     No, forsooth: he hath but a little wee face, with a     little yellow beard, a Cain-coloured beard. MISTRESS QUICKLY     A softly-sprighted man, is he not? SIMPLE     Ay, forsooth: but he is as tall a man of his hands     as any is between this and his head; he hath fought     with a warrener. MISTRESS QUICKLY     How say you? O, I should remember him: does he not     hold up his head, as it were, and strut in his gait? SIMPLE     Yes, indeed, does he. MISTRESS QUICKLY     Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune! Tell     Master Parson Evans I will do what I can for your     master: Anne is a good girl, and I wish--     Re-enter RUGBY RUGBY     Out, alas! here comes my master. MISTRESS QUICKLY     We shall all be shent. Run in here, good young man;     go into this closet: he will not stay long.     Shuts SIMPLE in the closet     What, John Rugby! John! what, John, I say!     Go, John, go inquire for my master; I doubt     he be not well, that he comes not home.     Singing     And down, down, adown-a, & c.     Enter DOCTOR CAIUS DOCTOR CAIUS     Vat is you sing? I do not like des toys. Pray you,     go and vetch me in my closet un boitier vert, a box,     a green-a box: do intend vat I speak? a green-a box. MISTRESS QUICKLY     Ay, forsooth; I'll fetch it you.     Aside     I am glad he went not in himself: if he had found     the young man, he would have been horn-mad. DOCTOR CAIUS     Fe, fe, fe, fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je     m'en vais a la cour--la grande affaire. MISTRESS QUICKLY     Is it this, sir? DOCTOR CAIUS     Oui; mette le au mon pocket: depeche, quickly. Vere     is dat knave Rugby? MISTRESS QUICKLY     What, John Rugby! John! RUGBY     Here, sir! DOCTOR CAIUS     You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby. Come,     take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to the court. RUGBY     'Tis ready, sir, here in the porch. DOCTOR CAIUS     By my trot, I tarry too long. Od's me!     Qu'ai-j'oublie! dere is some simples in my closet,     dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave behind. MISTRESS QUICKLY     Ay me, he'll find the young man here, and be mad! DOCTOR CAIUS     O diable, diable! vat is in my closet? Villain! larron!     Pulling SIMPLE out     Rugby, my rapier! MISTRESS QUICKLY     Good master, be content. DOCTOR CAIUS     Wherefore shall I be content-a? MISTRESS QUICKLY     The young man is an honest man. DOCTOR CAIUS     What shall de honest man do in my closet? dere is     no honest man dat shall come in my closet. MISTRESS QUICKLY     I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic. Hear the truth     of it: he came of an errand to me from Parson Hugh. DOCTOR CAIUS     Vell. SIMPLE     Ay, forsooth; to desire her to-- MISTRESS QUICKLY     Peace, I pray you. DOCTOR CAIUS     Peace-a your tongue. Speak-a your tale. SIMPLE     To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to     speak a good word to Mistress Anne Page for my     master in the way of marriage. MISTRESS QUICKLY     This is all, indeed, la! but I'll ne'er put my     finger in the fire, and need not. DOCTOR CAIUS     Sir Hugh send-a you? Rugby, baille me some paper.     Tarry you a little-a while.     Writes MISTRESS QUICKLY     [Aside to SIMPLE] I am glad he is so quiet: if he     had been thoroughly moved, you should have heard him     so loud and so melancholy. But notwithstanding,     man, I'll do you your master what good I can: and     the very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my     master,--I may call him my master, look you, for I     keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake,     scour, dress meat and drink, make the beds and do     all myself,-- SIMPLE     [Aside to MISTRESS QUICKLY] 'Tis a great charge to     come under one body's hand. MISTRESS QUICKLY     [Aside to SIMPLE] Are you avised o' that? you     shall find it a great charge: and to be up early     and down late; but notwithstanding,--to tell you in     your ear; I would have no words of it,--my master     himself is in love with Mistress Anne Page: but     notwithstanding that, I know Anne's mind,--that's     neither here nor there. DOCTOR CAIUS     You jack'nape, give-a this letter to Sir Hugh; by     gar, it is a shallenge: I will cut his troat in dee     park; and I will teach a scurvy jack-a-nape priest     to meddle or make. You may be gone; it is not good     you tarry here. By gar, I will cut all his two     stones; by gar, he shall not have a stone to throw     at his dog:     Exit SIMPLE MISTRESS QUICKLY     Alas, he speaks but for his friend. DOCTOR CAIUS     It is no matter-a ver dat: do not you tell-a me     dat I shall have Anne Page for myself? By gar, I     vill kill de Jack priest; and I have appointed mine     host of de Jarteer to measure our weapon. By gar, I     will myself have Anne Page. MISTRESS QUICKLY     Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well. We     must give folks leave to prate: what, the good-jer! DOCTOR CAIUS     Rugby, come to the court with me. By gar, if I have     not Anne Page, I shall turn your head out of my     door. Follow my heels, Rugby.     Exeunt DOCTOR CAIUS and RUGBY MISTRESS QUICKLY     You shall have An fool's-head of your own. No, I     know Anne's mind for that: never a woman in Windsor     knows more of Anne's mind than I do; nor can do more     than I do with her, I thank heaven. FENTON     [Within] Who's within there? ho! MISTRESS QUICKLY     Who's there, I trow! Come near the house, I pray you.     Enter FENTON FENTON     How now, good woman? how dost thou? MISTRESS QUICKLY     The better that it pleases your good worship to ask. FENTON     What news? how does pretty Mistress Anne? MISTRESS QUICKLY     In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and     gentle; and one that is your friend, I can tell you     that by the way; I praise heaven for it. FENTON     Shall I do any good, thinkest thou? shall I not lose my suit? MISTRESS QUICKLY     Troth, sir, all is in his hands above: but     notwithstanding, Master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a     book, she loves you. Have not your worship a wart     above your eye? FENTON     Yes, marry, have I; what of that? MISTRESS QUICKLY     Well, thereby hangs a tale: good faith, it is such     another Nan; but, I detest, an honest maid as ever     broke bread: we had an hour's talk of that wart. I     shall never laugh but in that maid's company! But     indeed she is given too much to allicholy and     musing: but for you--well, go to. FENTON     Well, I shall see her to-day. Hold, there's money     for thee; let me have thy voice in my behalf: if     thou seest her before me, commend me. MISTRESS QUICKLY     Will I? i'faith, that we will; and I will tell your     worship more of the wart the next time we have     confidence; and of other wooers. FENTON     Well, farewell; I am in great haste now. MISTRESS QUICKLY     Farewell to your worship.     Exit FENTON     Truly, an honest gentleman: but Anne loves him not;     for I know Anne's mind as well as another does. Out     upon't! what have I forgot?     Exit

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