THE MERRY WIVES OF WINDSOR by William Shakespeare c. 1597 Act IV

SCENE I. A street.     Enter MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS QUICKLY, and WILLIAM PAGE MISTRESS PAGE     Is he at Master Ford's already, think'st thou? MISTRESS QUICKLY     Sure he is by this, or will be presently: but,     truly, he is very courageous mad about his throwing     into the water. Mistress Ford desires you to come suddenly. MISTRESS PAGE     I'll be with her by and by; I'll but bring my young     man here to school. Look, where his master comes;     'tis a playing-day, I see.     Enter SIR HUGH EVANS     How now, Sir Hugh! no school to-day? SIR HUGH EVANS     No; Master Slender is let the boys leave to play. MISTRESS QUICKLY     Blessing of his heart! MISTRESS PAGE     Sir Hugh, my husband says my son profits nothing in     the world at his book. I pray you, ask him some     questions in his accidence. SIR HUGH EVANS     Come hither, William; hold up your head; come. MISTRESS PAGE     Come on, sirrah; hold up your head; answer your     master, be not afraid. SIR HUGH EVANS     William, how many numbers is in nouns? WILLIAM PAGE     Two. MISTRESS QUICKLY     Truly, I thought there had been one number more,     because they say, ''Od's nouns.' SIR HUGH EVANS     Peace your tattlings! What is 'fair,' William? WILLIAM PAGE     Pulcher. MISTRESS QUICKLY     Polecats! there are fairer things than polecats, sure. SIR HUGH EVANS     You are a very simplicity 'oman: I pray you peace.     What is 'lapis,' William? WILLIAM PAGE     A stone. SIR HUGH EVANS     And what is 'a stone,' William? WILLIAM PAGE     A pebble. SIR HUGH EVANS     No, it is 'lapis:' I pray you, remember in your prain. WILLIAM PAGE     Lapis. SIR HUGH EVANS     That is a good William. What is he, William, that     does lend articles? WILLIAM PAGE     Articles are borrowed of the pronoun, and be thus     declined, Singulariter, nominativo, hic, haec, hoc. SIR HUGH EVANS     Nominativo, hig, hag, hog; pray you, mark:     genitivo, hujus. Well, what is your accusative case? WILLIAM PAGE     Accusativo, hinc. SIR HUGH EVANS     I pray you, have your remembrance, child,     accusative, hung, hang, hog. MISTRESS QUICKLY     'Hang-hog' is Latin for bacon, I warrant you. SIR HUGH EVANS     Leave your prabbles, 'oman. What is the focative     case, William? WILLIAM PAGE     O,--vocativo, O. SIR HUGH EVANS     Remember, William; focative is caret. MISTRESS QUICKLY     And that's a good root. SIR HUGH EVANS     'Oman, forbear. MISTRESS PAGE     Peace! SIR HUGH EVANS     What is your genitive case plural, William? WILLIAM PAGE     Genitive case! SIR HUGH EVANS     Ay. WILLIAM PAGE     Genitive,--horum, harum, horum. MISTRESS QUICKLY     Vengeance of Jenny's case! fie on her! never name     her, child, if she be a whore. SIR HUGH EVANS     For shame, 'oman. MISTRESS QUICKLY     You do ill to teach the child such words: he     teaches him to hick and to hack, which they'll do     fast enough of themselves, and to call 'horum:' fie upon you! SIR HUGH EVANS     'Oman, art thou lunatics? hast thou no     understandings for thy cases and the numbers of the     genders? Thou art as foolish Christian creatures as     I would desires. MISTRESS PAGE     Prithee, hold thy peace. SIR HUGH EVANS     Show me now, William, some declensions of your pronouns. WILLIAM PAGE     Forsooth, I have forgot. SIR HUGH EVANS     It is qui, quae, quod: if you forget your 'quies,'     your 'quaes,' and your 'quods,' you must be     preeches. Go your ways, and play; go. MISTRESS PAGE     He is a better scholar than I thought he was. SIR HUGH EVANS     He is a good sprag memory. Farewell, Mistress Page. MISTRESS PAGE     Adieu, good Sir Hugh.     Exit SIR HUGH EVANS     Get you home, boy. Come, we stay too long.     Exeunt  SCENE II. A room in FORD'S house.     Enter FALSTAFF and MISTRESS FORD FALSTAFF     Mistress Ford, your sorrow hath eaten up my     sufferance. I see you are obsequious in your love,     and I profess requital to a hair's breadth; not     only, Mistress Ford, in the simple     office of love, but in all the accoutrement,     complement and ceremony of it. But are you     sure of your husband now? MISTRESS FORD     He's a-birding, sweet Sir John. MISTRESS PAGE     [Within] What, ho, gossip Ford! what, ho! MISTRESS FORD     Step into the chamber, Sir John.     Exit FALSTAFF     Enter MISTRESS PAGE MISTRESS PAGE     How now, sweetheart! who's at home besides yourself? MISTRESS FORD     Why, none but mine own people. MISTRESS PAGE     Indeed! MISTRESS FORD     No, certainly.     Aside to her     Speak louder. MISTRESS PAGE     Truly, I am so glad you have nobody here. MISTRESS FORD     Why? MISTRESS PAGE     Why, woman, your husband is in his old lunes again:     he so takes on yonder with my husband; so rails     against all married mankind; so curses all Eve's     daughters, of what complexion soever; and so buffets     himself on the forehead, crying, 'Peer out, peer     out!' that any madness I ever yet beheld seemed but     tameness, civility and patience, to this his     distemper he is in now: I am glad the fat knight is not here. MISTRESS FORD     Why, does he talk of him? MISTRESS PAGE     Of none but him; and swears he was carried out, the     last time he searched for him, in a basket; protests     to my husband he is now here, and hath drawn him and     the rest of their company from their sport, to make     another experiment of his suspicion: but I am glad     the knight is not here; now he shall see his own foolery. MISTRESS FORD     How near is he, Mistress Page? MISTRESS PAGE     Hard by; at street end; he will be here anon. MISTRESS FORD     I am undone! The knight is here. MISTRESS PAGE     Why then you are utterly shamed, and he's but a dead     man. What a woman are you!--Away with him, away     with him! better shame than murder. FORD     Which way should be go? how should I bestow him?     Shall I put him into the basket again?     Re-enter FALSTAFF FALSTAFF     No, I'll come no more i' the basket. May I not go     out ere he come? MISTRESS PAGE     Alas, three of Master Ford's brothers watch the door     with pistols, that none shall issue out; otherwise     you might slip away ere he came. But what make you here? FALSTAFF     What shall I do? I'll creep up into the chimney. MISTRESS FORD     There they always use to discharge their     birding-pieces. Creep into the kiln-hole. FALSTAFF     Where is it? MISTRESS FORD     He will seek there, on my word. Neither press,     coffer, chest, trunk, well, vault, but he hath an     abstract for the remembrance of such places, and     goes to them by his note: there is no hiding you in the house. FALSTAFF     I'll go out then. MISTRESS PAGE     If you go out in your own semblance, you die, Sir     John. Unless you go out disguised-- MISTRESS FORD     How might we disguise him? MISTRESS PAGE     Alas the day, I know not! There is no woman's gown     big enough for him otherwise he might put on a hat,     a muffler and a kerchief, and so escape. FALSTAFF     Good hearts, devise something: any extremity rather     than a mischief. MISTRESS FORD     My maid's aunt, the fat woman of Brentford, has a     gown above. MISTRESS PAGE     On my word, it will serve him; she's as big as he     is: and there's her thrummed hat and her muffler     too. Run up, Sir John. MISTRESS FORD     Go, go, sweet Sir John: Mistress Page and I will     look some linen for your head. MISTRESS PAGE     Quick, quick! we'll come dress you straight: put     on the gown the while.     Exit FALSTAFF MISTRESS FORD     I would my husband would meet him in this shape: he     cannot abide the old woman of Brentford; he swears     she's a witch; forbade her my house and hath     threatened to beat her. MISTRESS PAGE     Heaven guide him to thy husband's cudgel, and the     devil guide his cudgel afterwards! MISTRESS FORD     But is my husband coming? MISTRESS PAGE     Ah, in good sadness, is he; and talks of the basket     too, howsoever he hath had intelligence. MISTRESS FORD     We'll try that; for I'll appoint my men to carry the     basket again, to meet him at the door with it, as     they did last time. MISTRESS PAGE     Nay, but he'll be here presently: let's go dress him     like the witch of Brentford. MISTRESS FORD     I'll first direct my men what they shall do with the     basket. Go up; I'll bring linen for him straight.     Exit MISTRESS PAGE     Hang him, dishonest varlet! we cannot misuse him enough.     We'll leave a proof, by that which we will do,     Wives may be merry, and yet honest too:     We do not act that often jest and laugh;     'Tis old, but true, Still swine eat all the draff.     Exit     Re-enter MISTRESS FORD with two Servants MISTRESS FORD     Go, sirs, take the basket again on your shoulders:     your master is hard at door; if he bid you set it     down, obey him: quickly, dispatch.     Exit First Servant     Come, come, take it up. Second Servant     Pray heaven it be not full of knight again. First Servant     I hope not; I had as lief bear so much lead.     Enter FORD, PAGE, SHALLOW, DOCTOR CAIUS, and SIR HUGH EVANS FORD     Ay, but if it prove true, Master Page, have you any     way then to unfool me again? Set down the basket,     villain! Somebody call my wife. Youth in a basket!     O you panderly rascals! there's a knot, a ging, a     pack, a conspiracy against me: now shall the devil     be shamed. What, wife, I say! Come, come forth!     Behold what honest clothes you send forth to bleaching! PAGE     Why, this passes, Master Ford; you are not to go     loose any longer; you must be pinioned. SIR HUGH EVANS     Why, this is lunatics! this is mad as a mad dog! SHALLOW     Indeed, Master Ford, this is not well, indeed. FORD     So say I too, sir.     Re-enter MISTRESS FORD     Come hither, Mistress Ford; Mistress Ford the honest     woman, the modest wife, the virtuous creature, that     hath the jealous fool to her husband! I suspect     without cause, mistress, do I? MISTRESS FORD     Heaven be my witness you do, if you suspect me in     any dishonesty. FORD     Well said, brazen-face! hold it out. Come forth, sirrah!     Pulling clothes out of the basket PAGE     This passes! MISTRESS FORD     Are you not ashamed? let the clothes alone. FORD     I shall find you anon. SIR HUGH EVANS     'Tis unreasonable! Will you take up your wife's     clothes? Come away. FORD     Empty the basket, I say! MISTRESS FORD     Why, man, why? FORD     Master Page, as I am a man, there was one conveyed     out of my house yesterday in this basket: why may     not he be there again? In my house I am sure he is:     my intelligence is true; my jealousy is reasonable.     Pluck me out all the linen. MISTRESS FORD     If you find a man there, he shall die a flea's death. PAGE     Here's no man. SHALLOW     By my fidelity, this is not well, Master Ford; this     wrongs you. SIR HUGH EVANS     Master Ford, you must pray, and not follow the     imaginations of your own heart: this is jealousies. FORD     Well, he's not here I seek for. PAGE     No, nor nowhere else but in your brain. FORD     Help to search my house this one time. If I find     not what I seek, show no colour for my extremity; let     me for ever be your table-sport; let them say of     me, 'As jealous as Ford, Chat searched a hollow     walnut for his wife's leman.' Satisfy me once more;     once more search with me. MISTRESS FORD     What, ho, Mistress Page! come you and the old woman     down; my husband will come into the chamber. FORD     Old woman! what old woman's that? MISTRESS FORD     Nay, it is my maid's aunt of Brentford. FORD     A witch, a quean, an old cozening quean! Have I not     forbid her my house? She comes of errands, does     she? We are simple men; we do not know what's     brought to pass under the profession of     fortune-telling. She works by charms, by spells,     by the figure, and such daubery as this is, beyond     our element we know nothing. Come down, you witch,     you hag, you; come down, I say! MISTRESS FORD     Nay, good, sweet husband! Good gentlemen, let him     not strike the old woman.     Re-enter FALSTAFF in woman's clothes, and MISTRESS PAGE MISTRESS PAGE     Come, Mother Prat; come, give me your hand. FORD     I'll prat her.     Beating him     Out of my door, you witch, you hag, you baggage, you     polecat, you runyon! out, out! I'll conjure you,     I'll fortune-tell you.     Exit FALSTAFF MISTRESS PAGE     Are you not ashamed? I think you have killed the     poor woman. MISTRESS FORD     Nay, he will do it. 'Tis a goodly credit for you. FORD     Hang her, witch! SIR HUGH EVANS     By the yea and no, I think the 'oman is a witch     indeed: I like not when a 'oman has a great peard;     I spy a great peard under his muffler. FORD     Will you follow, gentlemen? I beseech you, follow;     see but the issue of my jealousy: if I cry out thus     upon no trail, never trust me when I open again. PAGE     Let's obey his humour a little further: come,     gentlemen.     Exeunt FORD, PAGE, SHALLOW, DOCTOR CAIUS, and SIR HUGH EVANS MISTRESS PAGE     Trust me, he beat him most pitifully. MISTRESS FORD     Nay, by the mass, that he did not; he beat him most     unpitifully, methought. MISTRESS PAGE     I'll have the cudgel hallowed and hung o'er the     altar; it hath done meritorious service. MISTRESS FORD     What think you? may we, with the warrant of     womanhood and the witness of a good conscience,     pursue him with any further revenge? MISTRESS PAGE     The spirit of wantonness is, sure, scared out of     him: if the devil have him not in fee-simple, with     fine and recovery, he will never, I think, in the     way of waste, attempt us again. MISTRESS FORD     Shall we tell our husbands how we have served him? MISTRESS PAGE     Yes, by all means; if it be but to scrape the     figures out of your husband's brains. If they can     find in their hearts the poor unvirtuous fat knight     shall be any further afflicted, we two will still be     the ministers. MISTRESS FORD     I'll warrant they'll have him publicly shamed: and     methinks there would be no period to the jest,     should he not be publicly shamed. MISTRESS PAGE     Come, to the forge with it then; shape it: I would     not have things cool.     Exeunt SCENE III. A room in the Garter Inn.     Enter Host and BARDOLPH BARDOLPH     Sir, the Germans desire to have three of your     horses: the duke himself will be to-morrow at     court, and they are going to meet him. Host     What duke should that be comes so secretly? I hear     not of him in the court. Let me speak with the     gentlemen: they speak English? BARDOLPH     Ay, sir; I'll call them to you. Host     They shall have my horses; but I'll make them pay;     I'll sauce them: they have had my house a week at     command; I have turned away my other guests: they     must come off; I'll sauce them. Come.     Exeunt  SCENE IV. A room in FORD'S house.     Enter PAGE, FORD, MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS FORD, and SIR HUGH EVANS SIR HUGH EVANS     'Tis one of the best discretions of a 'oman as ever     I did look upon. PAGE     And did he send you both these letters at an instant? MISTRESS PAGE     Within a quarter of an hour. FORD     Pardon me, wife. Henceforth do what thou wilt;     I rather will suspect the sun with cold     Than thee with wantonness: now doth thy honour stand     In him that was of late an heretic,     As firm as faith. PAGE     'Tis well, 'tis well; no more:     Be not as extreme in submission     As in offence.     But let our plot go forward: let our wives     Yet once again, to make us public sport,     Appoint a meeting with this old fat fellow,     Where we may take him and disgrace him for it. FORD     There is no better way than that they spoke of. PAGE     How? to send him word they'll meet him in the park     at midnight? Fie, fie! he'll never come. SIR HUGH EVANS     You say he has been thrown in the rivers and has     been grievously peaten as an old 'oman: methinks     there should be terrors in him that he should not     come; methinks his flesh is punished, he shall have     no desires. PAGE     So think I too. MISTRESS FORD     Devise but how you'll use him when he comes,     And let us two devise to bring him thither. MISTRESS PAGE     There is an old tale goes that Herne the hunter,     Sometime a keeper here in Windsor forest,     Doth all the winter-time, at still midnight,     Walk round about an oak, with great ragg'd horns;     And there he blasts the tree and takes the cattle     And makes milch-kine yield blood and shakes a chain     In a most hideous and dreadful manner:     You have heard of such a spirit, and well you know     The superstitious idle-headed eld     Received and did deliver to our age     This tale of Herne the hunter for a truth. PAGE     Why, yet there want not many that do fear     In deep of night to walk by this Herne's oak:     But what of this? MISTRESS FORD     Marry, this is our device;     That Falstaff at that oak shall meet with us. PAGE     Well, let it not be doubted but he'll come:     And in this shape when you have brought him thither,     What shall be done with him? what is your plot? MISTRESS PAGE     That likewise have we thought upon, and thus:     Nan Page my daughter and my little son     And three or four more of their growth we'll dress     Like urchins, ouphes and fairies, green and white,     With rounds of waxen tapers on their heads,     And rattles in their hands: upon a sudden,     As Falstaff, she and I, are newly met,     Let them from forth a sawpit rush at once     With some diffused song: upon their sight,     We two in great amazedness will fly:     Then let them all encircle him about     And, fairy-like, to-pinch the unclean knight,     And ask him why, that hour of fairy revel,     In their so sacred paths he dares to tread     In shape profane. MISTRESS FORD     And till he tell the truth,     Let the supposed fairies pinch him sound     And burn him with their tapers. MISTRESS PAGE     The truth being known,     We'll all present ourselves, dis-horn the spirit,     And mock him home to Windsor. FORD     The children must     Be practised well to this, or they'll ne'er do't. SIR HUGH EVANS     I will teach the children their behaviors; and I     will be like a jack-an-apes also, to burn the     knight with my taber. FORD     That will be excellent. I'll go and buy them vizards. MISTRESS PAGE     My Nan shall be the queen of all the fairies,     Finely attired in a robe of white. PAGE     That silk will I go buy.     Aside     And in that time     Shall Master Slender steal my Nan away     And marry her at Eton. Go send to Falstaff straight. FORD     Nay I'll to him again in name of Brook     He'll tell me all his purpose: sure, he'll come. MISTRESS PAGE     Fear not you that. Go get us properties     And tricking for our fairies. SIR HUGH EVANS     Let us about it: it is admirable pleasures and fery     honest knaveries.     Exeunt PAGE, FORD, and SIR HUGH EVANS MISTRESS PAGE     Go, Mistress Ford,     Send quickly to Sir John, to know his mind.     Exit MISTRESS FORD     I'll to the doctor: he hath my good will,     And none but he, to marry with Nan Page.     That Slender, though well landed, is an idiot;     And he my husband best of all affects.     The doctor is well money'd, and his friends     Potent at court: he, none but he, shall have her,     Though twenty thousand worthier come to crave her.     Exit  SCENE V. A room in the Garter Inn.     Enter Host and SIMPLE Host     What wouldst thou have, boor? what: thick-skin?     speak, breathe, discuss; brief, short, quick, snap. SIMPLE     Marry, sir, I come to speak with Sir John Falstaff     from Master Slender. Host     There's his chamber, his house, his castle, his     standing-bed and truckle-bed; 'tis painted about     with the story of the Prodigal, fresh and new. Go     knock and call; hell speak like an Anthropophaginian     unto thee: knock, I say. SIMPLE     There's an old woman, a fat woman, gone up into his     chamber: I'll be so bold as stay, sir, till she come     down; I come to speak with her, indeed. Host     Ha! a fat woman! the knight may be robbed: I'll     call. Bully knight! bully Sir John! speak from     thy lungs military: art thou there? it is thine     host, thine Ephesian, calls. FALSTAFF     [Above] How now, mine host! Host     Here's a Bohemian-Tartar tarries the coming down of     thy fat woman. Let her descend, bully, let her     descend; my chambers are honourable: fie! privacy?     fie!     Enter FALSTAFF FALSTAFF     There was, mine host, an old fat woman even now with     me; but she's gone. SIMPLE     Pray you, sir, was't not the wise woman of     Brentford? FALSTAFF     Ay, marry, was it, mussel-shell: what would you with her? SIMPLE     My master, sir, Master Slender, sent to her, seeing     her go through the streets, to know, sir, whether     one Nym, sir, that beguiled him of a chain, had the     chain or no. FALSTAFF     I spake with the old woman about it. SIMPLE     And what says she, I pray, sir? FALSTAFF     Marry, she says that the very same man that     beguiled Master Slender of his chain cozened him of     it. SIMPLE     I would I could have spoken with the woman herself;     I had other things to have spoken with her too from     him. FALSTAFF     What are they? let us know. Host     Ay, come; quick. SIMPLE     I may not conceal them, sir. Host     Conceal them, or thou diest. SIMPLE     Why, sir, they were nothing but about Mistress Anne     Page; to know if it were my master's fortune to     have her or no. FALSTAFF     'Tis, 'tis his fortune. SIMPLE     What, sir? FALSTAFF     To have her, or no. Go; say the woman told me so. SIMPLE     May I be bold to say so, sir? FALSTAFF     Ay, sir; like who more bold. SIMPLE     I thank your worship: I shall make my master glad     with these tidings.     Exit Host     Thou art clerkly, thou art clerkly, Sir John. Was     there a wise woman with thee? FALSTAFF     Ay, that there was, mine host; one that hath taught     me more wit than ever I learned before in my life;     and I paid nothing for it neither, but was paid for     my learning.     Enter BARDOLPH BARDOLPH     Out, alas, sir! cozenage, mere cozenage! Host     Where be my horses? speak well of them, varletto. BARDOLPH     Run away with the cozeners; for so soon as I came     beyond Eton, they threw me off from behind one of     them, in a slough of mire; and set spurs and away,     like three German devils, three Doctor Faustuses. Host     They are gone but to meet the duke, villain: do not     say they be fled; Germans are honest men.     Enter SIR HUGH EVANS SIR HUGH EVANS     Where is mine host? Host     What is the matter, sir? SIR HUGH EVANS     Have a care of your entertainments: there is a     friend of mine come to town tells me there is three     cozen-germans that has cozened all the hosts of     Readins, of Maidenhead, of Colebrook, of horses and     money. I tell you for good will, look you: you     are wise and full of gibes and vlouting-stocks, and     'tis not convenient you should be cozened. Fare you well.     Exit     Enter DOCTOR CAIUS DOCTOR CAIUS     Vere is mine host de Jarteer? Host     Here, master doctor, in perplexity and doubtful dilemma. DOCTOR CAIUS     I cannot tell vat is dat: but it is tell-a me dat     you make grand preparation for a duke de Jamany: by     my trot, dere is no duke dat the court is know to     come. I tell you for good vill: adieu.     Exit Host     Hue and cry, villain, go! Assist me, knight. I am     undone! Fly, run, hue and cry, villain! I am undone!     Exeunt Host and BARDOLPH FALSTAFF     I would all the world might be cozened; for I have     been cozened and beaten too. If it should come to     the ear of the court, how I have been transformed     and how my transformation hath been washed and     cudgelled, they would melt me out of my fat drop by     drop and liquor fishermen's boots with me; I warrant     they would whip me with their fine wits till I were     as crest-fallen as a dried pear. I never prospered     since I forswore myself at primero. Well, if my     wind were but long enough to say my prayers, I would repent.     Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY     Now, whence come you? MISTRESS QUICKLY     From the two parties, forsooth. FALSTAFF     The devil take one party and his dam the other! and     so they shall be both bestowed. I have suffered more     for their sakes, more than the villanous inconstancy     of man's disposition is able to bear. MISTRESS QUICKLY     And have not they suffered? Yes, I warrant;     speciously one of them; Mistress Ford, good heart,     is beaten black and blue, that you cannot see a     white spot about her. FALSTAFF     What tellest thou me of black and blue? I was     beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow;     and I was like to be apprehended for the witch of     Brentford: but that my admirable dexterity of wit,     my counterfeiting the action of an old woman,     delivered me, the knave constable had set me i' the     stocks, i' the common stocks, for a witch. MISTRESS QUICKLY     Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber: you     shall hear how things go; and, I warrant, to your     content. Here is a letter will say somewhat. Good     hearts, what ado here is to bring you together!     Sure, one of you does not serve heaven well, that     you are so crossed. FALSTAFF     Come up into my chamber.     Exeunt  SCENE VI. Another room in the Garter Inn.     Enter FENTON and Host Host     Master Fenton, talk not to me; my mind is heavy: I     will give over all. FENTON     Yet hear me speak. Assist me in my purpose,     And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give thee     A hundred pound in gold more than your loss. Host     I will hear you, Master Fenton; and I will at the     least keep your counsel. FENTON     From time to time I have acquainted you     With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page;     Who mutually hath answer'd my affection,     So far forth as herself might be her chooser,     Even to my wish: I have a letter from her     Of such contents as you will wonder at;     The mirth whereof so larded with my matter,     That neither singly can be manifested,     Without the show of both; fat Falstaff     Hath a great scene: the image of the jest     I'll show you here at large. Hark, good mine host.     To-night at Herne's oak, just 'twixt twelve and one,     Must my sweet Nan present the Fairy Queen;     The purpose why, is here: in which disguise,     While other jests are something rank on foot,     Her father hath commanded her to slip     Away with Slender and with him at Eton     Immediately to marry: she hath consented: Now, sir,     Her mother, ever strong against that match     And firm for Doctor Caius, hath appointed     That he shall likewise shuffle her away,     While other sports are tasking of their minds,     And at the deanery, where a priest attends,     Straight marry her: to this her mother's plot     She seemingly obedient likewise hath     Made promise to the doctor. Now, thus it rests:     Her father means she shall be all in white,     And in that habit, when Slender sees his time     To take her by the hand and bid her go,     She shall go with him: her mother hath intended,     The better to denote her to the doctor,     For they must all be mask'd and vizarded,     That quaint in green she shall be loose enrobed,     With ribands pendent, flaring 'bout her head;     And when the doctor spies his vantage ripe,     To pinch her by the hand, and, on that token,     The maid hath given consent to go with him. Host     Which means she to deceive, father or mother? FENTON     Both, my good host, to go along with me:     And here it rests, that you'll procure the vicar     To stay for me at church 'twixt twelve and one,     And, in the lawful name of marrying,     To give our hearts united ceremony. Host     Well, husband your device; I'll to the vicar:     Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest. FENTON     So shall I evermore be bound to thee;     Besides, I'll make a present recompense.     Exeunt

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